Understanding Parents' Decisions
We understand that it is sometimes difficult for kids to understand why parents say “yes” one time and “no” another. Maybe an analogy – a similar example – will help.
Let’s say you join a soccer team for the first time. In order to play the game properly, you need to be taught by someone who knows a lot about the game. Enter your coach. He or she may have been playing soccer for 30 years or more. The coach can tell you the right ways and wrong ways to play the game, as well as correct your errors. The coach will also tell you how to play safely. Eventually, you begin to play the game well without as much coaching.
Now, consider your mom and dad to be your coaches as you play the “game of life.” At your age, you do not have the experience that they do. You still lack much of the knowledge that you need to make good decisions. Likewise, you don’t have as much of the wisdom that comes from experience that they have, as they are much older than you. Therefore, you need them to tell you the right way to act, to stay safe, and to handle the situations that come up, just like the soccer coach does.
When your folks say “no” when you want to do something, it may be because they see some danger in it. Or, they may think you need to be a little bit older before doing that activity. Sometimes, parents say “no” because you did not handle something else as well as you should have, so they are making you think a little longer before they let you have a new privilege.
Your parents (or other guardians) – although they are not perfect – have your best interest in mind when they make decisions. Most will say “yes” from time to time, too, which usually means they see you growing up. They can tell that you are becoming able to handle the “game of life” on your own somewhat, just like the way that you learned to play soccer better, so they give you more freedom by saying “yes.” Don't forget that one of the Ten Commandments is to honor your father and your mother. If you keep trying to do the things that they ask you to do, and also try to avoid doing the things that you know they won’t like, you will likely hear “yes” more and more often.
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